I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
