My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize