so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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