Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
