He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
