we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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