So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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