I wish I could teleport
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
