i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
