I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
