I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
