Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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