yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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