So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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