after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
