I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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