so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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