You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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