So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Who died my cat blue again?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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