Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
