Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
