wrigley field is MILF paradise
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
