Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
