make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize