no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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