the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm too high and old for this...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
