his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
