I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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