I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
