If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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