a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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