Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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