And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize