Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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