This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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