They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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