i jhust puked up my retainher.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize