Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
