Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
okay pat passed out under dana's car
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
