How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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