apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
there is puke in my bra ... again
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
