she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wear drunk well.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
