Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
