I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
