we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
