what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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