she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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