The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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