I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
