Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
