New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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