My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
