I'm going to jail i love you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
