Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
