this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
