I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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