yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
