I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
