i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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