and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
