I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
