well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
