I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
