I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I love you. Go after that dick
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
