So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize