I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
