I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
