Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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