so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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